A few years ago, in August , I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified, scared, and alone. I did not know what to do. Tim, who was 38, and I, who was 26, were not married, we both had things going on in our lives that did not include children, and were just not ready for that kind of commitment. But what was I going to do, I didn't believe in abortion, in fact, I am 100% against it. Yet, all of a sudden, it seemed like the best thing to do, right? I mean, I had a job, and wasn't done with school, and kinda enjoyed my freedom. Tim was working, trying to get his life together, wanted to work on his music and play pool. How could we be parents of a child? How could we trade in our lives for a baby? We started to believe that the baby would be better off if it were not born, that we could not provide the home and love for it that it would need. We started to believe that the best thing for everyone would to be to end the pregnancy and never tell anyone and go on with life just as before. We started to believe......or did we?
I made an appointment with the Allentown Clinic. Allentown was too long of a wait though, I just wanted to get this over with and move on with my life, so I called Harrisburg. They could get me in right away and I made the appointment. But there was an unsettling feeling in my stomach. Could I really do this? I ran to one friend, behind Tim's back because he didn't want anyone to know. But I was desperate to make sure I was doing the right thing. My friend told me I was doing the right thing, the best thing for everyone. I listened to her and went home. The next morning Tim and I got up to go to the clinic. I felt sick, sad, and scared. What if it hurts? What if I can't have kids again? What if something goes wrong? I had just become Born Again and Saved in July!! What was I doing? The Lord is not going to see me through this, will he?
I didn't know what to do, so I prayed. I prayed and prayed and prayed the whole way down. I prayed for a sign, something from the Lord to tell me NO!! Traffic, a broken down car, anything. The closer we got, the more disheartened I became. We were on the road, getting closer to the clinic, why didn't I see a sign?? And then, the Lord answered my prayers. The Lord had sent his angels to protest that day in front of the clinic. He sent his messengers to show me the horror of what I was about to do, He showed me a sign. What I saw when I drove up to that clinic in Harrisburg has never left my mind. The photos of death, the people who gave their time to save unborn babies. To this day I can't see those signs without crying.
I can't believe what I almost did. I never entered that clinic or even drove in the drive way. I drove past where Tim and I sat and cried for an hour. I called the clinic and they were cold and non-caring, saying to ignore those people. I knew these people could not be of God and once I entered that building He would not be with me. We drove home, somber, yet relieved. I knew then that this was something that I had to deal w/and face and take care of , I was going to be a mom and that walk the Lord would take with me, and he did. My pregnancy was without incident. My delivery was only 3 hours long with 37 minutes of pushing. My body healed quickly and I was back to exercising 4 weeks later. But the greatest of all gifts I received from listening to my heart was my son, Christian Timothy. My son was born on April 21, 2003 at 7:47 PM ( a real Jet fan by his father). I will never for the rest of my life forget the feeling of seeing him for the first time, of hearing his cry. That miracle that came from my womb, squirming and kicking and screaming with LIFE!! And the blessings have not stopped.
My son is the biggest gift from the Lord I have ever been given. His disposition is unbelievable. He has been smiling since he was about 1 mo. old and has not stopped. His laughter is like angels singing, I have never heard anything like it. He slept through the night and I had to wake him to nurse in the morning. He has made being a mother the most blessed thing I have ever done. Sometimes, I look at him and cry and can't believe I almost didn't have him. It makes me cherish and appreciate him more. It's amazing that all of the selfish reasons I thought I didn't want to be a mom don't even exist anymore. I can't remember my life before him. He is three years old right now. I can't express enough gratitude to those people who had volunteered that day, who give up their free time to stand for something they believe in so much. I wish I could thank each and everyone of you. You changed my life. God Bless all of you for your hard work. You truly are angels and I will never forget you.
Love and God Bless Christine, Timothy, and Christian.