Testimony of a Birth Mom

By Jennifer Reed

Did you ever find yourself in a place in life you didn’t want to be but you weren’t sure how you got there?  It’s like you want to get life’s GPS and get back on track!  I am forty-two and my birth-daughter will be seventeen this year.  In my thirties I discovered I was abused as a child thru a dream God gave me.  While taking classes for a Masters in Counseling I said to God regarding childhood abuse “God, show me if that happened to me when I am ready to handle it.”   It was several years later when God gave me the dream.  The dream occurred the night before I was going to a Healing Sexual Brokenness Conference.  I was going there to receive more healing from losing my virginity to a rape when I was seventeen. 

In between seventeen and my thirties, in between the rape and finding out I was abused, I was in Bible based, Holy Spirit-led counseling for healing from the rape; this included extending forgiveness to the man and dealing with core family issues I had not known existed until that point. After three years of counseling, I believed a lie that came into my thoughts, “You will never have a normal relationship with a man due to what happened to you.”  I did not realize at that point in my relationship with God that the thought was not mine but belonged to a lying demon, nor did I know I could take authority over it and cast it down, replacing it with the truth of God’s word.  So I believed it and decided subconsciously to find a husband on my own and stop trusting God in that area of my life. I returned to former ways of coping with pain, going to bars and clubs, meeting men, and shortly thereafter, I became pregnant.

I turned to God and asked His forgiveness and help.  I went to a Christian counseling center where I received love, grace and excellent counseling on single parenting and on making an adoption plan. I was leaning toward making an adoption plan but I was not 100% sure. So when I was about 3 ½ months pregnant, I went away to the New Jersey shore to seek God for His plan for my baby.  Picture a crisp sunny fall day on the Beach. I was at the 12th street fishing pier, Ocean City, NJ.

Jennifer: “God, you said in your word that you understand everything we go through, but Jesus was a man and He did not get pregnant, so how can you understand?”

Holy Spirit as God (comes as a thought to my mind): “I created you, I understand what you are going through.” 

Jennifer: “Oh, yes, OK!”

Jennifer: “God, I love children, how am I going to be able to give her up?”

Holy Spirit as from God our Father: “I gave up my Son Jesus, I understand what it is like to give up a child, I will help you.”

My birth-daughter was planned by God.

 Psalm139:

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
       your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me
       were written in your book before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!   How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
       When I awake, I am still with you.

Ephesians 1

4 Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love.

5 For He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted (revealed) as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will [because it pleased Him and was His kind intent]—

I had a New Jersey Shore calendar that year and on her birth month was a photo of the 12th street fishing pier!  Where God revealed His plan for her! WOW!  She was born April 25, 1994, healthy and beautiful.  I clothed her before she left the hospital; and I have been giving her birthday gifts every year.  Her mom and dad write to me each year regarding all areas of her development, interests and life.  They sent artwork she made when she was little.  And then she began to write to me as well.  WOW!

She is a delight and a blessing.  She enjoys soccer, musical instruments, the pool, the beach, the lake, children, ringing bells, and hanging out with friends.  She is intelligent and she is doing well in school.  She is an encourager.  She has grown up beautifully and I really enjoy getting the reports. It was bittersweet at first because I missed her so much, but it was so good to know how well she was doing.  She publicly shared her faith in Jesus Christ as an early teen before she was baptized. This was a part of the baptism.   Her family sent me a photo of her coming up out of the water baptismal!  It is framed in my living room with several other photos of her; one with her big sister who is also adopted.  OH WHAT A JOY SHE IS TO SO MANY PEOPLE!

God lifted the grief over the years, it was completely gone when she turned 10. God does a new thing on her birthday each year for me. 

From Life’s GPS: here’s new meaning my mentor said as we were talking about how amazingly fun God is: “Go pray somewhere.”  I asked God how I ended up pregnant, He showed me the lie I had believed and He replaced it with the truth from Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” which includes loving and being loved by a godly man.  I received new direction!

God is faithful to my birth daughter and to me.  Romans 8:28 says: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Adoption is a beautiful, life-giving option.  With God, all things are possible.  God is love, He loves you, and He will help you when you ask Him.

~Jennifer currently resides in Harrisburg and works as a Quality Specialist for a worldwide medical and industrial gas company.  Her ministry is called By the Well Ministries which is mainly a theatrical presentation of the gospel of Jesus Christ depicting modern day brokenness to wholeness through faith in Jesus.  It is based on Isaiah 61 and John 4 in the Bible.  She has five nieces and nephews under eight and thoroughly enjoys hanging out with them.  She also enjoys worship with the dance and creative arts.  A few of Jennifer's favorites are coffee, new restaurants, the outdoors, pink roses and going on missions trips.  Jennifer has been to Peru, Mexico, Uganda, Kenya, Israel and throughout America sharing the love of God.  Jennifer is available for giving her testimony as a birth-mom for adoption agencies, youth groups, schools and churches.  Contact PA Pro-Life Federation for more information. References are available.